


with so many stars crossing time

by fifteen_half



Category: Donten ni Warau
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Because I can, Brother Feels, Family, Gen, and because the ending hurts and i want a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1376218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifteen_half/pseuds/fifteen_half
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It begins with a dream.</p><p>Shirasu both loathes this dream and loves it. He hates it because it makes him want to have more; more than the gray walls of this mansion, more than the fake smiles of his peers, more life than the life he has now. Every time he dreams it, he feels lost. Lost and alone and filled with so much regret-- regret for betraying a family he's never even met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with so many stars crossing time

**Author's Note:**

> Because I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Shirasu betrayed them, and because it seemed like he regretted it in the end.
> 
> And because I am a sucker for happy endings.
> 
> Enjoy!

It all starts with a dream.

He's in a house, very much unlike his own. It's warm inside, and cozy. The skies are always cloudy outside and it rains often, but inside the warmth always, always remains. There's laughter in the air; it's loud and boisterous, but even then he doesn't mind. The sound of it makes him comfortable, and it puts a rare smile on his face.

He can see himself in this dream, but in here he's different. The smile on his face is real. It's not cold or chilling. Not a show to put someone at ease. In this dream he is simply himself.

There is a man here too. And two boys younger than him. They all bear striking resemblance with each other; a family.

The man has long hair tied messily into a ponytail. He is loud and carefree. His grin is wide and infectious. And when he looks at him, he thinks he can see the sun.

The younger boy is more serious. He's less loud and a bit moody, and is constantly angry at the older man. But he is earnest and kind, and when he smiles it's warm and very gentle.

The youngest boy emulates the eldest-- he is his hero, his world. Just like the eldest, he is loud and carefree. And when he grins, it is innocent and sincere.

In the dream he is surrounded by them. They know how dirty his past is, how covered his hands are with blood. But they smile at him, and care for him, and surrounds him with their love.

They only know how to trust.

And he betrays them in the end.

Shirasu both loathes this dream and loves it. He hates it because it makes him want to have more; more than the gray walls of this mansion, more than the fake smiles of his peers, more life than the life he has now. Every time he has this dream, it leaves him wanting. Wanting to be free of his duty, wanting to be free of kill or be killed... wanting to be anywhere but this cold, cold place.

He hates it, because every time he dreams it, he feels lost. Lost and alone and filled with so much regret-- regret for betraying a family he's never even met.

"Juudaime, the car is ready."

Clearing all thoughts away, he gets up to leave. Because as much as he feels the need to ask for forgiveness, to be by their side and bask in that warmth once more, as the 10th generation head of the Fuuma Clan, he is unable to.

If anything, he is the one that needs saving.

 

* * *

 

A member of his clan has betrayed him.

Lying a few feet away from the wreck of his car, he regrets not killing them when he had the chance. In this business where people's lives can be bought by money, this is the norm. He hardly even feels any remorse for the lost lives of the men beside him.

The snow beneath him has seeped into his clothes. He can feel it spreading on his back, across his shoulders, at the back of his head. Maybe it's even his blood. But Shirasu can't even find the strength to care.

Snowflakes are gathering on him. With the amount of blood he's spilled with his hands, even he thinks that being buried in white is more than he deserves. He should have been in the car when it exploded. His body should have burned along with it, leaving nothing behind but ashes.

Knowing that he's nearing the end, Shirasu smiles bitterly in regret. Not for his life cut short, not even for the lives he ended, but for a dream. It's only a silly dream, but he would have liked to know if these people were real, if they truly filled their home with loud and riotous laughter, if their warmth truly permeates the soul.

Perhaps he, too, would have been saved by them.

In the distance he can hear someone running. Something falls on the ground. Somewhere above him a voice says, "Don't give up!"

But Shirasu's given up a long time ago.

 

* * *

  

The first thing he registers are voices.

_"...honestly, picking up strays!"_

_"Aw, don't be so hard! He looked so lost covered in snow like that."_

_"Lost! Lost in snow~! Lost covered in snow~!"_

_"Keep it down, you two! You'll wake him up!"_

_"Eeeh, how can that be? Sensei gave him the good drugs after all."_

_"Good drugs~! Good drugs~! Eh, drugs are good?"_

_"No!_ _Don't listen to_ \-- Aniki, I think he's waking up!"

And when he opens his eyes, he's met with a pair of sharp, inquisitive ones.

A second passes, and suddenly, the eyes crinkle up, and in that moment Shirasu could have sworn he saw the sun.

"You aren't supposed to wake up yet," he says, his voice so, so very familiar, "Are you, perhaps, a ninja?"

Two bursts out laughing at this, while a third grumbles about giving mercy to the wounded. Shirasu, in the meanwhile, is stunned.

Voice raspy, clearly unused, he asks, "D-Do I know you?"

The laughter stops, and suddenly three faces appear in his line of vision.

And all of them are so, so very familiar.

"Hmmm... I don't think so. I think I'd remember someone with hair and eyes like yours," there's suspicion in his voice, and a promise of a threat, but even then his eyes remain unwaveringly trusting, "I found you on the way home, you were injured really badly, and I took you with me. Sorry about your car though, nothing I could have done about that. And it looked quite expensive, too. Saaaay~ Since I saved your life and all, I think a little reward--,"

"Aniki, are you seriously extorting money from an invalid?!"

"We need money to live, you know! The income we get from maintaining this shrine barely gets us by! One day, your awesome aniki might need to sell his own body! Would you like that? Would you like that! Can your conscience allow me to do that?!"

As the youngest boy wails in despair, the other one merely shakes his head. He turns to him and says, "I'm sorry about him. Aniki may have hit his head hard when he was young."

Shirasu doesn't quite know what to say, because even that is so, so very familiar.

"I'm Kumo Soramaru, the second son. Seems you'll be staying with us here for a while, so I'm sorry in advance for all the noise," then he smiles at him, gentle and so very warm, and says, "Welcome to the Kumo family for now, I guess!"

_The younger boy is more serious. He's less loud and a bit moody, and is constantly angry at the older man. But he is earnest and kind, and when he smiles it's warm and very gentle._

"That's right! Welcome too, I guess~!" the youngest grins, "I'm the third, Kumo Chuutarou! Nice to meet you, Lost-san!"

_Just like the eldest, he is loud and carefree. And when he grins, it is innocent and sincere._

"'Lost-san'?Nice one, Chuutarou!"

_The man has long hair tied messily into a ponytail. He is loud and carefree._

"Kumo Tenka," he says, _his grin wide and infectious,_ "We're going to be taking care of you for now! So welcome to the Kumo family!"

_And when he looks at him, he thinks he can see the sun._

Shirasu, for the first time in a long, long while, smiles freely, "Hai. I'll be in your care then. Arigato."

 


End file.
